Telephone...

I never leave my kids alone, never. I really am the most overprotective mom there is, and I take them with me EVERYWHERE. When I lived with my parents right after the divorce it wasn't a problem because usually there was someone around to watch them if I needed to run somewhere really quickly. Now there is no one here for that, so everywhere we go I load them up and drag them along. But today we had been having some outside, rockin' summer fun, and they were filthy. It was almost dinner time and I had to run to the store for a couple of ingredients, the store was set to close in ten minutes, but the kids were the kind of dirty where you just COULDN'T take them in public. So I figured, they are nine and six now, AND the store is less than a block away, AND I only needed milk and cheese, which is located fairly close to the check out stand, AND we live in a super teeny town where everyone trusts everyone, and no one locks their doors, so SURELY they would be alright for five minutes while I ran there and back, right??? I left STRICT instructions not to answer the phone or door NO MATTER WHAT! But knowing my kids I also added "and DO NOT tell anyone you are home alone!" Feeling confident and that all my bases were covered, and feeling like maybe we could handle this single parent family thing alright I set out, speeding to the store, sprinting through the isles, cutting off an elderly man at the checkout, you know all the stuff a confident single mom does on a regular basis...:)

When I got home Ethan informs me that "Ad-i-a an-swered the pho-one" in that sing song voice that brothers use when they know SOMEBODY'S getting in trouble. Adia pipes right up, "yeah, but I took a good message. I made him spell everything out so I got it all just right. And he had no idea we were all alone." Because correct spelling is SO important when it could be Chester the Molester on the phone waiting for just the right moment to break in and steal my children... So as Ethan went to go get the message I what she said if she didn't tell him I wasn't home. She answered with a huge grin, "Oh, I just said 'my mom's naked, so she can't talk on the phone right now.' " I am slightly mortified, and kind of want to hide under the bed. I am praying it was a salesman that I will never hear from again, or someone like that. I pray that it was NOT the board member of the social work program at my school that I had been expecting a call from all evening. Well it wasn't any of those people. Nope, it was our new BISHOP wondering if I could meet with him on Sunday! Nope I can't make that meeting I am going to need to move and change my identity now in order to avoid further embarrassment, thanks very much for asking though...