| See I can't even add a picture of a real mouse, that's how scared of them I am. |
I know, given the situation I'm in and all of the things that could potentially happen in my life right now this might sound crazy, but literally one of my biggest fears is having a mouse in my house. I'm not the kind of person who scares easily. I don't mind extreme sports, I can squish bugs and spiders with my bare hands without thinking twice, I kill rattlesnakes with garden hoes, a black cat crosses my path?- no problem, I'm pretty brave for the most part. But when it comes to mice I have a real sincere fear. It comes from my mom, I'm sure, but regardless, I become totally irrational when I even see a mouse. I have to lift my feet when I see a mouse on TV, I get so scared I can't even scream, I make this high pitched moaning sound instead, and do this little shudder/ bum shake dance. It isn't pretty, but I literally can't control it. Last summer I put a plastic storage bin out on the porch until I had a chance to take it to storage. Somehow a mouse fell into it and couldn't get out. I paid my son ten bucks, offered to do all of his chores for him for the rest of the week, AND told him he wouldn't have any punishments for the rest of the day if he would take the bin to the end of the driveway and dump the mouse out for me. (good parenting, I know:) It was totally worth it.
When I was married my husband and I had a deal: I would take care of all the blood and bugs if he would take care of the mice. It worked out great for us, but now that I'm alone, I don't know what I'd do if there was a mouse in the house. I can set a trap fine, but once it caught a mouse what would I do then? I'd move, that's what! That's the only logical solution I can come up with. I'm much too responsible to call 911 over a silly mouse, but I certainly can't get close enough to get rid of it, so the only solution is to move, but I would have to leave the stuff that's in the room where the mouse is because there's no way I could go in there. I've thought about it, and that's the only thing I can come up with. I'm not even kidding. As you can see, I lose all sense of rationality when I even think about mice.
So today I was on the phone with a telemarketer who was trying to save me "up to $500 a year on car insurance". I wasn't interested, but I hate being rude, so I always wait until they stop for breath before telling them no thanks. I hate interrupting people.:) As I was listening I noticed that my desk could use some tidying up, and moved a big pile of books so I could go through them and put them away. All of a sudden something under a piece of paper started to move and squeak. I did my high pitched moan into the phone and hung up on the poor salesman. (I really do feel bad about that, but it was an emergency! And in reality, it might be a good way to get put on the do not call list...) After jumping on the chair and mouse moaning and doing the dance until I almost fell OFF the chair I finally got my bearings. I realized it didn't really sound like a mouse, so using some tongs I got from the kitchen I moved the papers to see what was really under there. That's when I discovered that some little stinker had hidden her ZuZu pet under a pile of papers (knowing full well that those things creep me out) and moving the books set it off.
So things are calming down now, my breathing is back to normal and this house is short one ugly brown ZuZu pet that I threw out in the dumpster. Now I'm off to change my pants...
